The Starbucks Effect


Earlier this morning I went to Safeway here in Parker. Starbucks is located right as you walk through those magical Star Trek-like doors that automatically open. It was an in-and-out trip so I was a bit in a hurry. As I had feared I came upon an aging line of winter visitors blocking my path to the deli so I had to change course and go by the Starbucks counter. It was here my experience began. I navigated my way past the humongous citrus display and the coffee seeking patrons in front of their frothy, caramel flavored, caffeine-delivering mothership. While zig-zagging through the crowd I accidently bumped into a woman.

I promptly said, “I’m sorry…excuse me.”, to which she replied, “Ughh…Mmnguganana uhh-uhh.” Now I’m going to be honest, I have no idea how to actually spell her reply. It was one filled with exhaustion, impatience, and disgust. Perhaps not just towards me, but towards life in general. I continued towards the deli feeling both relieved to be on my way and confused at her zombie-like response.

Average line at Starbucks

Upon leaving the deli, still in a hurry, I headed for the Checkout line. The Checkout lines are located behind the Starbucks kiosk so avoidance was futile. As I was briskly walking towards the Checkout line someone leaving the Starbucks counter stepped out in front of me. Now my brakes don’t work as well as they did ten years ago, (due mostly in part to me now having greater inertia), so there’s no surprise that I bumped into this person. I quickly apologized as they turned around…it was the same woman I bumped into when I first came in! I thought for sure I was in store for a huge dose of Chew-Out OTC, (ask your doctor or pharmacist), but what happened next is definitely worthy of my relating to you. She giggled and said playfully, “Oh I’m sorry…It sure is crowded huh?”

Before Coffee
After Coffee

There was something different about her. She was happy and filled with life. No longer a mumbling, mush-mouthed zombie.

What on Earth had changed?! The answer was clutched tightly in her hands: COFFEE. She was now a new woman, no longer troubled by crowds and tedious lines. She had been awoken and given a new lease on her day. This woman was Human once again.

So remember my friends, when you encounter a fellow human being and the experience is somewhat distasteful, it may just be that they haven’t had their cup of “Go-Juice” yet.

Coffee- Morning tested. Zombie Apocalypse approved.

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