10 Ways to Avoid Being ‘That Guy’ at Tube Float

We all know him. ‘That Guy’ is the one who ruins the Tube Float for everybody else around him while convinced of his own coolness. Don’t want to be him? Follow these 10 guidelines from Parker Live and you’ll have a great time this Saturday!

(1) Put a self-imposed limit on the use of your props. Super Soakers, nerf projectiles, drones, GoPros and other ‘props’ can be fun, especially at first. But you’ll be floating a while, so – to avoid being That Guy – put them away sometimes and just chill for a bit.

(2) Socialize. Although you may have arrived with just one or a few friends, make it a point to meet other people. It’s okay if being social isn’t right up your alley, but try to enjoy yourself and don’t make it awkward.

(3) Wear a lifejacket proudly. There’s no two ways about it; it’s the smart thing to do!

(4) Make sure you know how much alcohol you can handle. Know the difference between your brag and your reality before you go in if you plan to drink. That way, you’ll avoid getting out of control, getting sick, or passing out early.

(5) Match alcohol consumption with water consumption. Do this at a rate of at least 1:1 and maybe 1:2 to avoid becoming seriously dehydrated and maybe ill in that desert sun (yup, it happens to That Guy every single year).

(6) Don’t whine about how long you’ve been floating or that you don’t have a tow. Employ good social skills to get a tow from other groups if you need it, and use the current under the surface to your advantage, especially if there’s a little breeze coming from the opposite direction.

(7) Be courteous with your camera. You’ll have plenty of time to get the shots you like, so don’t put it in peoples’ faces too much. (This includes flying cameras, if you’re brave enough to risk yours over the water.)

(8) Put waterproof, factor 50 sunscreen on at the beginning and reapply regularly. Don’t mess around with this; we’ve seen way too many lobster-red sunstroke victims by the end of the event. Don’t be That Guy.

(9) If you have a boat, keep it slow and safe. We all know your boat can be fast when you hit the gas. But the entire float is a no-wake zone and if you violate the rules you’ll have your ass hauled off the river by law enforcement. (That would just be embarrassing.)

(10) Don’t leer. We get it, she’s super hot and floating near you in a tiny bikini. But making a big deal about it is kind of the least attractive thing you can do. Play it cool, bro! There’ll be a lot of skin on show; don’t get overwhelmed!

(11) Get a wristband! This one’s a no-brainer. Everybody needs one for the event, they’re cheap, and you’ll have the chance to win some prizes and stuff at the end. Don’t be the guy without one. Info HERE.

# # #

Enjoy the Float and use the hashtag #parkertubefloat or #parkeraz for tweets, FB and Insta.